Drunk head...

He doesn't care and I'm kinda drunk. A wine bottle will do that to you. Well, half a bottle, I drank with my friend while watching a movie. I want what I can't have and yet, I don't understand why I can't have it. A guy who loves me and cares about me, who can't get enough of me. I'm not an awful person, how did I get there? It's sooooo obvious Dylan doesn't care. After I wrote to him to explain what happened after we met, he really seemed to be interested in making an effort to make me progress.

Then he had this depressive episode and I was there for him. We spoke, he was blaming me for the virtual relationship and how I'd never call. Yet I called after that because I didn't hear from him and was getting worried, no call back. Then I see him online the other day with no excuse and what can barely be considered an apology. Why can't I stay mad? I basically forgave him and that's almost the last I've heard of him. I sent him a e-mail saying I had this awful feeling he didn't care and tell me if I was, so I could move on. He only replied, and this is so rich, I have to share:

"Why that little drama act? ???! I'm online less often now. It's has nothing to do with you.

Smile, life is great, isn't it??

Dylan."

Geez...Dylan, no, life ain't great with you in it. Everytime I want to move on, you're back to haunt me and I always fall for it. I love you and yet I hate you, don't know what to do. That's pretty much what I replied 3 days later. I had to think, I told him, if he couldn't understand me, we couldn't understand each other and nothing much could be done at that point and that if he knew how to reach me if he cared...It's been a few days now...I don't know, maybe it really is time to move on. But am I really over him this time?

I need another drink... :S